


Crush Me with the Things You Do

by Hollyspacey



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Desk Sex, F/M, Smut, Teacher!Coulson, Teacher!Darcy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:46:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollyspacey/pseuds/Hollyspacey
Summary: Darcy has the patience of a saint. Until it comes to a certain someone stealing her parking spot.





	Crush Me with the Things You Do

**Author's Note:**

> So, no spoilers for AoS, buuuuut… Teacher Coulson ruined me, guys. Like, I have never been so personally victimized by something before. I had two ideas for him and couldn’t decide which one to go with, so I wrote them both. This is the first. I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> Title from Crush by DMB. :) :) :)

Darcy pulled into the employee parking lot and let out a frustrated groan. Once again, there was a car parked in her spot. Ok, sure, it wasn't like there were assigned spots, but she'd parked there all year, it was _hers_. It might as well have an engraved plaque with her name on it, that’s how much it was hers. But no, there was another car in it, flagrantly ignoring the fact that it was not supposed to be there. 

And she knew exactly who it belonged to. Phil Coulson, the history teacher who taught down the hall from her. He was impossible and frustrating and Darcy had it bad for him. Foxy Phil, as she called him. (But only to Jane.) 

She simultaneously wanted to slap him for being so smug and push him against the blackboard and have her way with him. It was a real problem. A problem she could probably solve by ignoring him, but she had a hot temper and no sense of self-preservation, so at least twice a week she found herself storming to his classroom and demanding he give her back her spot. If she didn’t know any better, she would think he took it just to be contrary. 

Darcy walked through the courtyard headed to Phil’s classroom, greeting a few of her students that were milling around waiting for the day to begin. Once there, she stopped in the open doorway and looked inside. Phil was sitting at his desk, writing something. 

He was wearing plaid again. His closet must look like a lumberjack barfed inside of it, there was so much plaid, and it pissed Darcy off because the plaid _worked_ for him. He seriously looked good, and she hated it. 

Darcy lifted her head and strode into his classroom, beelining it to the chair in front of his desk. She sat down and waited until he would finish writing to acknowledge her. He kept writing. She sat staring at him, and he kept ignoring her. Finally, the corner of his lip twitched up and he spoke, still not looking at her. “What can I do for you, Miss Lewis?” 

“You can start by going and moving your car. And then as an apology, you can run to the gas station and get me a coffee and doughnut.” 

Phil’s smile grew. “Oh, is that all?” 

She shrugged. “I’m on bus duty this week, if you’d like to take that, too.” 

“I think I’ll pass. On all of it.” 

Darcy sighed and gently placed her hands on his desk. “Mr. Coulson. _Phil_. You know that’s my spot.” 

“I know nothing,” he said, finally looking up at her and giving her a grin. “Maybe you should get here a little earlier and it will be all yours.” 

“Easy for you to say. I live all the way across town and you’re, like, two miles away.” 

“How do you know where I live?” 

Darcy grimaced a bit, but recovered quickly, “It’s my duty to know everything about the enemy.” 

Truth was, she had accidentally found out from one of the other teachers one day and sometimes went that way home. It wasn’t creepy, though. Or if it was, Darcy had just about convinced herself that she was just keeping the commute fresh. 

“So I’m the enemy now?” 

“Uh huh,” she said with a solemn nod.

Darcy opened her mouth to say more, but quickly shut it. It was entirely too easy to get drawn into conversation with Phil. And not like a normal, talk about the weather, what did you do this weekend, conversation. But actually talking to him. Talking about real things interspersed with insults and pleas for him to give her back her parking spot. 

It scared her how easy she could talk to him. She wasn’t that close to their other co-workers, except Jane, whom she’d known for years, long before she had started here, and who had actually gotten her an interview in the first place. As far as she knew, Phil didn’t talk to them either. No one seemed quite as enamored with his presence as Darcy was. That was why she had to stop herself. Otherwise, she’d have him in her head all day and that was no good. 

Phil put down his pen and studied Darcy. “Can’t you just take the one on the other side? It’s always empty.” 

“That’s because it’s under that weird tree and all those little flowers will get on my car and I’ll look like I’m driving a parade float. No way, dude. I want _my_ spot.” 

“How exactly is it _your_ spot? We don’t have assigned parking.” 

“I called dibs first,” Darcy said with a sniff.

“No, you came in a day early to set up your classroom and claimed it. That doesn’t count.” 

“Sure it does.” 

“Let me guess, by the rules you made up in your own head.”

Darcy nodded. “Yep. You catch on quick.” 

“We could take turns with the spot,” Phil said reasonably.

“No way!” Darcy shrieked. “It’s mine! Plus, you totally drank the last of my herbal tea that I had in the teacher’s lounge. You _owe_ me.” 

“I apologize, I didn’t know the tea was yours. I thought that was communal tea.” 

Darcy shook her head dismissively. “No, it’s ok. I will totally share my tea. But the parking is non-negotiable.” 

Phil sat back and watched her with the faintest grin on his face. “Better luck tomorrow, Miss Lewis.” 

Darcy just narrowed her eyes into a glare, took a deep breath, and stalked from his classroom. The last thing she heard was Phil calling out behind her, “See you around,” with a tiny chuckle. Darcy willed the redness to leave her cheeks as she hurried to her classroom.

***

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.” 

Darcy’s mouth fell open as she spotted Phil’s car, the actual thorn in her side, sitting in the teacher’s lot. In _her_ spot. Nope, that would not do at all. 

Why was he even at the school to begin with? It was a Saturday afternoon, no one should be there. Darcy was only there because she had forgotten some papers and needed to grade them by Monday. She shot a glare at the flashy red car sitting to her right and strode into the school. 

When she got to his room, Phil was sitting in his usual spot, but he looked different. More relaxed, maybe. He was leaned back in his chair, feet propped up on the corner of his desk as he read something. But more than that, it was his clothes. He was wearing his usual infuriating plaid, but it was unbuttoned more, she could almost see a dusting of chest hair that she was deciding to ignore completely. 

And the sleeves. Lord, the sleeves. They were rolled up, showing off a set of pretty fantastic-looking forearms, his muscles gently flexing as he flipped through some papers. He noticed her presence just as Darcy finished checking him out. 

“Miss Lewis,” he said with a hint of surprise in his voice. “What are you doing here?” 

“I needed to come grab some papers. What are you doing here?” 

“The same. Big exam coming up, I need to make some study guides.” 

Darcy hummed and watched him set aside his papers and look at her. His eyes darted down and paused. It was a warm day and the shorts she’d put on early that morning had seemed like a perfectly acceptable length at the time, but the look in Phil’s eyes made them feel almost sinful. 

His eyes met hers again as he spoke, “Is there something I can do for you?” 

Darcy considered the tone his voice had taken- it sounded deeper somehow and suddenly Darcy’s subconscious had an entire filthy list of things she would like for him to do for her. A list that she normally only thought about when it was her in bed, hand between her thighs as she wondered what Phil would feel like on top of her. She pushed the inappropriate thoughts from her head as she walked slowly across the room to slide into her usual spot, meeting his eyes. 

“I’ll bet you thought I wouldn’t find out about the spot, huh? You thought, _it’s Saturday, it’s all mine_. Wrong. It’s always mine.” 

“I didn’t think any of that, actually. I can have it any time I want.” 

Darcy hummed, keeping herself from maybe naming something else he could have any time he wanted. Only tiptoeing the line instead of hopping over it like she wanted. Or at least she was trying to. And mostly succeeding. 

Darcy spotted his key ring at the corner of his desk and had a flash of inspiration. She would think later about how silly and childish it was, but that was later. She stood and scooped up the keys in her hand, giving Phil a smug smile. “I’ll be right back,” she purred, twirling the keyring around her finger. 

Phil’s eyes widened as he realized what she was doing and he jumped out of his chair, rushing after her as she headed towards the door. His hand smacked the door closed in front of her and he faced her down. 

“Where are you going with those?” 

“Just for a little joyride,” Darcy said with a small shrug. 

“You were about to move my car to a different spot,” Phil accused. 

“Maybe. What you did was wrong, I was simply making it right.” 

“You can’t just take people’s things, Miss Lewis. _Stealing_ is wrong,” Phil chastised, moving closer to her. 

Darcy let her back hit the wall and stared up at Phil, her gaze unwavering. “What are you going to do about it?” Darcy asked in a voice that she didn’t entirely recognize. 

“I ought to put you over my knee.” 

A rush of heat shot between Darcy’s legs and she took in a shaky breath. “You really think that would stop me?” 

“No, but I think it would be enjoyable.” 

Darcy nodded and let her eyes drop. Phil was still as a statue as Darcy’s hand moved along his bare forearm, moving up to play at the patch of skin revealed by his unbuttoned shirt. “You’re showing an awful lot of skin today, Mr. Coulson. I should print you out a copy of the dress code.” 

He glanced down at Darcy and nodded. “I could say the same for you. These shorts are very short,” he said, the tips of his fingers _just_ brushing against the soft skin of her upper thighs. 

“No one was supposed to be here today.” 

“Would you have worn these if you’d known I was here?” 

“I might’ve have been able to find some shorter ones,” she said cheekily. 

Phil took in a deep breath and pushed the hair back off of Darcy’s left shoulder, making the barest contact against her neck. Darcy’s hands gripped the front of Phil’s shirt and pulled him down, their lips meeting greedily. Phil slid his hand to her hip, the other gently holding onto her neck as he leaned into her. 

Darcy let her hips cant forward as she shamelessly rubbed against him, pulling a growl from deep within Phil’s throat. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” 

“Oh, ok,” Darcy responded, rubbing against him harder, smug smirk on her face. 

Phil’s hand shot over to lock the door they were beside and as he was distracted, Darcy ducked under his arm and walked over to the desk. They stood watching each other, Darcy slowly unbuttoning her shorts and letting them drop to the ground. 

“Is that better?” she asked. 

“That definitely isn’t dress code,” Phil murmured as he stepped forward and ran his hands over the slope of her hips, his thumbs running along the lace covering her skin as Darcy gave herself an internal high five for wearing her cute underthings. Darcy unbuttoned his shirt further, fingers brushing over the muscles that she had _known_ were underneath there. 

“You shouldn’t wear shirts, ever,” she said. 

“For some reason, I think the school district might frown upon that.” 

Darcy scoffed at the thought. 

Phil helped pull her own shirt over her head and drank in the sight of her. He slipped his hand inside her lacy bra and held her. “If you weren’t surrounded by teenage boys all day, I’d recommend you never wear a shirt, either.” 

“Ugh, no. I think I’ll pass on that. You, on the other hand, can look all you want.” 

“Oh, I plan on it.” 

Darcy let out a sigh as his thumb brushed over her sensitive nipple. Phil kissed her again, his hands never leaving her body. He broke away and said in a gruff voice, “Turn around.” 

Darcy bit her lip to cover her grin and twirled around at what was clearly a command, her hands resting against the wood grain of the desk while Phil came up behind her. His hands were moving all over her body, as if committing it to memory. It was like he didn’t even realize that they had basically destroyed the line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and that they would be doing this quite often if she had any say in it. 

Phil hooked his fingers in the elastic of her underwear and pulled them down, running his palm over Darcy’s smooth skin. He gave her a gentle smack, grinning at the soft sigh that left her lips. 

“You like that, huh?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I’m starting to think you did all this just to be punished. I’m thinking that all this fuss about a parking spot was just an attempt to get me fired up. That maybe you were just trying to catch my attention.” 

“Maybe it was both.” 

Phil nipped along her neck and his right hand came around to trace her folds. He sighed when he felt how wet she was, at the way she rubbed herself unabashedly against his hand. 

“I’ve often wondered what it might be like to have you bent over my desk like this,” Phil said shakily into her ear. 

“Yeah? Does this match the fantasy?” 

“This is so much better.” 

Dary hummed in the affirmative and arched back against him. “What usually comes next in these fantasies?” 

“Maybe I should show you.” 

“Maybe you should.” 

Phil stepped back enough to drop his pants completely and pull himself out. A moan fell from Darcy’s throat as he pressed forward to rub against her, his cock bumping against her clit.

“Fuck,” she muttered, leaning forward in invitation. Phil lined himself up at her entrance and slowly pushed forward, burying himself completely. Darcy gripped the edge of the desk with one hand and Phil began to move behind her. 

“Oh, yes,” Darcy whined as Phil thrust into her. “Harder, Phil.” 

Phil’s hand moved up her back to tangle in her hair, grabbing it and pulling a bit. “You like this?” 

“Yes,” Darcy gasped, and he moved a little more roughly, a gentle but firm grip on her hair. 

His other hand reached below to rub against Darcy’s clit. The noises leaving her mouth grew louder and more frantic and soon a shudder went through her body as she came around Phil. Darcy’s legs were shaky and she was grateful for the desk below her and Phil behind her.

Phil gripped her hips and thrust a few more times until he found his own release, saying Darcy’s name in a broken voice. He held her for a moment as they both caught their breath, soon pulling out and stepping around the desk, pushing a box of tissues towards Darcy so she could get cleaned up. 

He picked up her shorts and underwear that had fallen to the ground and sat them on the desk beside her as he finished getting dressed. Phil stood in front of her, smiling down gently. He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, “I think I messed up your hair.” 

“Totally worth it,” she said with a grin. 

Darcy pulled her shorts on and they stood looking at each other. Phil took a deep breath and nodded. “You should go out with me.” 

Darcy ducked her head as she stuffed her underwear in her purse. “I’ll think about it,” she said with a grin. 

“You always have to be contrary, don’t you?” 

She nodded proudly. “Of course. It’s part of my charm.” 

“Yes, I can see.” 

“And we agree, the parking spot is mine,” Darcy said, eyeing Phil seriously. 

“We agreed nothing of the sort.” 

Darcy smirked and played at the top of Phil’s shirt, slowly buttoning a button he’d missed. “Maybe you should follow me back to my place and I will see if I can be a bit more persuasive.” 

“I’d be willing to give you the chance, yeah.” 


End file.
